Heated Moments
by Eyes-of-Pearl
Summary: COMPLETE REELA JINTER She felt the heat, whether it was the proximity of his body or the humidity of the African sun, she couldn’t be sure. All she saw were his eyes which betrayed his hunger and desire. She swallowed hard. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Heated Moments**

_By: Eyes-of-Pearl_

**Rating**: T

**Disclaimer**: ER and A Walk to Remember belongs to their respective owners.

**Author's Note**: Ok, so I expanded my hiatus much longer than I thought I needed. I had no muse whatsoever to write and found myself deviating to other fandoms. It came to a point where I am questioning my capabilities of writing another good quality ER fanfic and whether I still have any readers left at the end of the day. Not only that, my personal life has taken a turn. For better or for worse, well, that remains to be seen, but it has left me with a relatively less time to write for pleasure.

Anyways, I come now to this story. This fic will be longer, nothing like my full feature, ER-A Walk to Remember crossover, "In This Life." It is an AU. I guess it can be part of the series, Diaries of Neela and Ray, but it can be read as a separate piece. Knowledge of my previous fics, in particular "In This Life" and "By Correspondence," isn't necessary, but some may found it beneficial. The rating is up and I will warn you now that this will be different from the standard Roomie fic.

**Synopsis:** She felt the heat, whether it was the proximity of his body or the humidity of the African sun, she couldn't be sure. All she saw were his eyes which betrayed his hunger and desire. She swallowed hard.

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**Heated Moments**

_Chapter 1_

She scanned the spanning tundra, across the arid lands. The sun was about to set, inches from caressing the horizon. Still, she found the air to be stifling. Using the back of her hand, she wiped the sweat from her brow. She heard the sounds of the shoes crunching against the earth coming from behind her. She turned and the figure stopped short, slightly embarrassed as if he was a child caught stealing from grandma's cookie jar. She smiled encouragingly for him to join her. After all, he really wasn't trying to be discrete and she didn't want him to be awkward in her company.

He nodded at her silent encouragement, as he stood to her right. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his khakis and surveyed the scenery. "Have you been waiting long, Dr. Chen?"

She turned a raised eyebrow at him. She always felt ten times older around him. Catching her expression, he tried amending himself, "I mean, Dr. Carter? Ah... Jing-Mei?"

Her Chinese name sounded foreign on his tongue. "I don't bite, Dr. Barnett."

Still, the Chinese woman knew that she should give him some credit, because she could easily identify with his agitation. The reason was the same as hers, except she hid it better than the younger doctor next to her.

They - meaning John, Ray, Neela and herself had been part of a humanitarian effort comprised of various volunteer medical personnel from around the world, who were stationed here in Dafur. There was a temporary ceasefire of sorts where the local governments had allowed UN sanctioned medical aid to come into the region.

The four Chicago doctors had decided to volunteer their expertise on the field. It was initially John's idea, who had prior experience when he and Dr. Luka Kovac decided to go overseas to help on an international level. Jing-Mei herself, had been weary of the daily grind of County General Hospital. She loved medicine but she guessed that she reached the point of burning out in the ER. The relationship with her mother had been more painfully strained since her marriage to John Carter, so she saw the opportunity of going to Dafur as an escape. Perhaps, she could renew her aspirations in helping a small part of humanity. Her thoughts drifted to the doctor next to her. Ray Barnett, he was so far away from the rocker / jock that he normally portrayed himself. He was playing the part of the concerned husband who was feeling acutely the separation from his wife, Neela Ragostra. She sighed knowingly because she too, was worried about a prolonged absence from John.

"Their car should be coming from that dot in the horizon," she said.

Ray followed the direction of her finger. In a subtle way, she relayed that she too, was watching for the Jeep that would bring John Carter and Neela Ragostra back to the camp that they were currently staying in. Ray knew that he didn't really have a huge reason to worry. They were relatively safe and besides, Neela was in good hands. She had wanted to tag along with Carter and Jing-Mei who were picking up extra supplies at another camp which was a good hour drive away. Limited by space, since Carter was also accompanied by one of the local guides in the area, Jing-Mei offered to stay on the camp. There was nothing that Ray could do, as he watched the vehicle drove away. His and Neela's reasons for coming to Dafur were of a personal nature. It had been one of Neela's goals to join Doctor's Without Borders, while he was here to honour one of his first wife's lifelong wishes.

Before he married Neela or became Dr. Ray Landon Barnett at County General, he had been Landon Rollins Carter - certified bad boy and potential high school dropout. That was before he got in trouble and landed in a school play where he met Jamie Elizabeth Sullivan. Jamie was different, not just because she was the Reverend's daughter or that she had a powerful voice behind her sweaters and love for books. She had faith; she had dreams; she also had leukemia. She had aspired to find a miracle and join the peace corps, hit a home run and be at two places at once. Some of her dreams were never fulfilled when she died at the age of 18. Landon had loved Jamie - his wife, his first love, the one person who found the goodness in him.

Now, Neela who too had suffered a tragedy in her own life had inspired him that there were still dreams and love left in this life. Their coming together had been rocky and uncertain. Even now, there were working through a rough patch in their marriage, whether to travel the world or settle down to have children. It was a choice of personal careers vs. long term commitment as potential parents.

Yet, only two weeks in this African country, neither of them regretted the decision to come here. There was so much to do, treating the patients who walked miles across the desert to see a health professional about a wide spectrum of ailments. There wasn't just a single problem, but one which led to a stream of others. Vaccination was on the agenda, so was basic human nutrition. Hundreds were infested with diseases and all of them were affected by the famine. Yet, there were some issues that were taboo for the people here - sex education, contraceptives, AIDS. Some things were just not talked about here.

On top of that, there was always the constant reminder that Dafur was still in a volatile state of affairs. There was still plenty of tension between the militant groups. Hence, the worry that both Jing-Mei and Ray faced as they waited for the Jeep to return to camp with extra supplies.

Ramalah Camp, the current site which they were situated, was set up with one side designated as a medical barrack which housed the communication system and three rows of beds and the other side was the sleeping quarters. In the middle was the communal eating area which was conveniently situated near a well -the only source of clean water.

In addition to the four American doctors, there was another doctor named Stephen Dakarai and a nurse, Debbie who both had been at Ramalah for over a year. There were two local guides who spoke the regional language. Behind the lanky form of Rashid was a demon behind the wheel. In more than one instance, did he drove the camp's truck to outrun some of African wildlife. His brother Rafiki was a picture of calm and serenity. He told amazing stories around the communal fires that were put on every night.

There were other camps similar to theirs in the area, but the closest major hospital was in El Fashir. The journey was very treacherous with the danger of being stopped by the Janjaweed militant group.

Jing-Mei found the wait to be impossibly long. Her sleeveless top did nothing to alleviate the stifling heat. However, she was quickly drawn from her musings by the familiar sounds of tires running against the rocky terrain of the Sudanese desert. At the front of the vehicle was Rashid, with a single hand on the wheel and the other was raised, waving at them. Both she and Ray returned his greeting as he braked the car in front of them.

At the sound of the Jeep, the camp came alive. Both Dr. Dakarai and Debbie emerged from the direction of the medical barracks to help unload the supplies. Rafiki spoke softly to Rashid off to the side. Carter jumped from the vehicle. His sunglasses hid his eyes, but she knew that his hazel ones were drawn to her onyx ones.

"What took you so long?" she said as he made his way over to her side.

"Did I worry you?"

"I hope that is a rhetorical question," she replied, slightly indignantly, but in a teasing sort of way.

"I was lost without you, Deb."

"That is so cheesy, John Carter."

He let out a husky laugh, as he encircled his arms around her. The two made their way to the other side of the truck, helping with the last of supplies before making their way back to the sleep quarters.

Neela was getting out of the Jeep, when she found herself staring down at Ray - her husband. Without words, he communicated to her his fears, and his relief of seeing her return. She reached out to cup his face in her left hand and traced her right index finger down his jawline, "Ray."

"Neela." He sank his face deeper into the palm of her hand, drawing comfort in the physical contact. He didn't need to verbalize all the horrible scenarios that had ran through his mind in the last hour. The threat here was real, but he knew that he could not truly prevent Neela from being out of his sight.

Ramalah was winding down to its nightly activities. Patients never truly stopped coming. Some of them ended up staying in the barracks. Others waited near the outskirts of the camp. The one thing that changes is the temperature which drops drastically with the setting of the sun. Neela snuggled closely into the embrace of her husband. His strong arms formed a protective shield around her lithe form. She easily caught the sounds of him humming into her ear, lulling her to sleep.

_End of Chapter 1_

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AN: Ok, so by now, you have figured out that this takes place in Darfur. There will be a story behind this, so please be patient. I'll be honest when I say that I haven't seen the two actual ER episodes which take place in this setting. In other words, Pratt won't be in this one, and I'll be playing around with the storyline. Hence, the AU in the beginning of the story. Anyways, let me know what you guys think, 'k.


	2. Chapter 2

Standard disclaimers applied. See Chapter 1 for further details 

**Author's Note**: While I know that this storyline is a little different, I'm glad to hear that you guys are interested.

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_Chapter 2_

He had been having trouble sleeping. Lying in his designated cot, he tried to relax his mind and slow his breathing. In the far off distance, he caught the sounds of shooting. He shuddered and tried to block the images of his overly active imagination. Sometimes, he was truly his own worst enemy. He coughed once and turned to find that Deb had reached over to clasp her hands over his. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" he asked.

"You worry me," she answered his earlier question.

"I love you, Deb."

"That I'm not worried about."

They both managed to smile at that and John Carter managed to find some sleep. Still, he had yet to learn to sleep through the incessant gun shots.

-o-o-

By morning, the landscape changed again. Hastily but securely erected camps dotted the outskirts of Ramalah. Camps may be a misleading term, as many of these were simply sticks stuck into the sand, suspending strategically thrown blankets. For now, these makeshift structures would make do, because for these people, the uncertainty was always there hanging like a cloud. Who knew when they would be forced to emigrate to another area for safety?

This was what Neela saw, when she looked up briefly after lifting the stethoscope from the little boy for whom she was caring for. There were always children running around, chasing each other. At times, the sounds of laughter would bring some semblance of normalcy, but she knew that the scene was anything but the ordinary. The children who should have cherubic faces and rounded bellies, were so thin that each bone on their tiny rib cage was visible. Some stared with listless eyes, from the embrace of their mothers. They should be daydreaming, innocent to the horrors of this world. Yet, they were thrust into famine and conflict.

Even though, she was under the shaded cover of the medical barrack, Neela could feel the sweat evaporating from her bare arms. The heat has returned with a vengeance and her spaghetti strap tank top clung to her back. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she caught her husband's gaze a few beds over. Silently with his soulful brown eyes, he asked her, 'Do you need a break?'

'No, I'm good.'

'I know that, but do you need a break?'

She smiled at that, when she felt a tug on her arm. The little boy's brother seeing that she was finished, stood by her side. She redirected her smile at him encouragingly. Noting her expression, he held out a picture that he had been working on, while she was checking over her young patient. Taking the drawing from him, the two boys went off together. When Neela stared down at the picture, she realized that it showed the two brothers and their father fighting the Jingaweed.

-o-o-

The four American doctors quickly realized that for all the hassles with administrative costs and financial budgets, they had been infinitely spoiled. Here in Ramalah, resources were scarce, even with the basic essentials. Gloves - one of the most common necessity and standard protective equipment was in a limited supply.

Carter could not help but ask Dakarai, "How do you do it for over a year?"

"It's not easy, but we managed. We have to by any means." He emphasized meaningfully. That meant bribes.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sounds of rapid speech coming from the far side of the medical barrack. It was a woman with her sun beaten face, drawn and taunt. She was cradling her daughter. The child had all the signs of liver damage - jaundice, peripheral edema, ascites, skin lesions on the nose, cheeks, upper trunk, neck and shoulders. The woman was surrounded by three other children - from their petite stature, none of them look older than five. Both Carter and Dakarai went over to see what the commotion was about.

Jing-Mei did not understand that language itself, but she caught the gist of what the woman was asking. Dakarai's interpretation confirmed it, "She wants to know if her daughter will die today or tomorrow."

-o-o-

Despite everything that she had been taught from medical school, none of it prepared for all of this. How could you deal with the many that had been beset by the current state of things, without food, peace and good health? There was the inevitability in reality, which went against her code as a doctor to be do good and to do no harm.

"We are only human, Deb. We too, have our limitations."

Jing-Mei turned to her husband. Even all this time, he still managed the voice the one thing which plagued her conscience.

"I know, but -."

"It's never enough. We can only do what we can with our two hands and if we save one life, then it's worth it."

-o-o-

That night, she dreamt of phantom hands and heart-wrenching screams. Faceless shadows slipped in and out of the mist of gray. She jolted from her sleep, covered in sweat but she could distinctly remember being marked by a pair of obsidian eyes.

End of Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

Standard disclaimers applied. See Chapter 1 for further details 

**Author's Note**: Sorry for the lateness in the chapter. This is a bit short but hopefully, it will tie you guys over until the next one.

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_Chapter 3  
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Just liked the day before and the one before that, the African sun baked the desiccated grounds. Yet, the air currents had changed again, with visible tension that permeating from those in Ramalah camp.

In the distance, a group of people were running towards the camp. Dust clouds chased after them. Anybody who was watching the scene could detect the urgency in their steps, the anxiety in their gestures. Carter and Dakarai jumped onto the back of the truck, with Rashid driving in front, met the group halfway. There were at least ten women and from the possession in their arms, it appeared that they had been gathering wood. They were out of breath; their chest were heaving while struggling for more air into their lungs.

They were supporting someone between them. It was a young woman, perhaps 20 or so. One quick sweep down her body would reveal the problem. Her feet were caked with a mixture of sand and dry blood. From the look of it, it looked liked she had severe bleeding somewhere. It was a wonder that she managed to trek across the desert in the way that she did.

Neela, Jing-Mei and Debbie were asked to examine the patient. Debbie remained at the head of the patient, speaking to her in soft tones of the Sudanese language. The blonde looked up briefly and said, "She said that her name is Nana."

The Chinese women nodded, as she worked meticulously and efficiently. Neela watched on, handing instruments and making short notes. It was a grim task because they knew what the results would be. The young woman had been raped. Throughout it all, Debbie stroke Nana's hand, mentally noting the various bruises on her face and arms.

In the end, Neela, Jing-Mei and Debbie tried to cleanse and dress the wounds on Nana's body. All the while, the 20 year old said nothing. Her eyes followed their every action. When they were finished, her young hands reached to stroke her inner thigh, tracing the newly donned bandage. Wordlessly, she laid back and curled up in a fetal position.

Debbie whispered, "She knows. That was a mark of shame. All those who see it will know what has happened to her."

When the three women left Nana's side, Neela immediately sought for the warm embrace of her husband's. She found him amongst some of the youngest children in the camp. He had very creatively designed some musical instruments out of mundane objects that they had around. Rafiki had traditional African drum set and was keeping rhythm to the beats that Ray had orchestrated. The scene made Neela smile.

Noting her presence, Ray seemed to understand her need to be cuddled right now. He had been worried when he heard the events from Carter. Getting up from his position with the children, Ray crossed the distance to his wife. He shuddered at the thought that something similar would befall on Neela. Running an invisible line up and down her back, he tried to calm his thoughts and offer whatever silent comfort that he could. It was never easy for such experiences always penetrated one's core. Ray only tightened his hold.

Jing-Mei felt John's gaze upon hers before they even made eye contact. An expressive amount of energy emitted from him, and she allowed herself to be wrapped in his warm cocoon. She was caressed without the physical contact. Closing her eyes briefly, she sent silent prayers for the man who understood that while she needed the support, she was still strong and independent woman.

-o-o-

By morning, Nana had disappeared. Nobody could pinpoint for certain when she was last seen. Fearing that her wounds may get infected, Jing-Mei, Debbie and Rashid set off in the camp's truck. Carter naturally wanted to come along, but it wasn't really feasible. His only consolation came from the intrepid driver, when Rashid reassured, "We will not travel far. Only towards El Fashir and be back before sundown."

Carter threw himself into his patients. One visible thing that was missing here was the sometimes-dreaded white board in County General. Back in Chicago, there was a constant drive to clear the ER, to go from patient to patient and clearing their names from the said board. Here, you simply threw yourself into it, going from bed to bed, until you lost track of time. There weren't previous histories or assessment documents. You were given presenting aliments and then you allowed your training to guide you with limited access to sophisticated equipment.

Ray called him over from the other side of the camp. His arms draped across the waist of a very pregnant woman. There were no ultrasounds and fetal heart monitoring device to assess the pregnancy. Certainly, there would be no epidurals or emergency cesarean sections readily available. 

Having coached Deb in her first pregnancy, Carter had some experience what to expect. Certainly, it was within every medical student's training to do an obstetrics and maternity rotation. Still, delivering a baby was not so simple especially when it came to a breech birth. Carter immediately realized this after his initial assessment. The women was nearly fully dilated; contractions were close and sharp; the women was ready to push. Speaking rapidly and painfully, she bear down with every contraction. She cried out once, twice, three times and Carter was hard pressed to calm her down.

Dakarai was sent for to help, but even he could not do much. "There is little we can do here. She has a better chance in El-Fashir."

"But-"

"I know but the hospital is her only chance. Time is against her."

-o-o-

Jing-Mei allowed herself to be rocked by the force of the vehicle over uneven terrain. Her eyes peered from behind her sunglasses to scan the landscape. She felt a deep nagging in her heart, a mixture of fear and anxiety. The occupants of the car were silent; each absorbed in their thoughts. What would possess someone to abandon the camp for the unforgiving desert? Yet, as the answer was painfully obvious as Debbie had said, "A mark of shame - All those who see it will know what has happened to her." At the thought, the Chinese woman felt a sudden chill.

Rashid broke the silence by saying, "We must head back. The sun is setting. We can go no further today."

"Just a little bit more. She is so young." Jing-Mei insisted. Yet in her mind, she realized that Nana was old enough to know the reality of her situation.

The truck crossed over a dune. The three occupants of the car could make out the distant voices of men. "We must go back. It is already too dangerous to stay," Rashid urged.

No sooner had he said this, the sounds of gunshot penetrated through the air, stunning the occupants in the car. Rashid quickly stepped on the gas but it was already too late. One of the men had spotted them and alerted others of the truck's presence. It then became a race across the terrain and the fading sun to avoid the gunfires of the Janjaweed.

_End of Chapter 3_

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	4. Chapter 4

Standard disclaimers applied. See Chapter 1 for further details

**Author's Note**: Thank you so much for your kind reviews. While I understand that this is a story that seems to be moving relatively slowly, I want the transition between romance and drama to be subtle and smooth. It is a fascinating setting for a story - it was just a bit of experimentation on my part. Anyways, enough of me babbling, but I do apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I have an idea where to go with this story but it has been eluding me of late. Here is the next chapter, short but hopefully it will tie you over until I can wrap it out.

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_Chapter 4_

It was decided that Ray, Carter, and Rafiki would take the pregnant woman whose name was Alima, to El-Fashir. It would have been ideal for Dakarai to accompany them but it wasn't feasible. With Neela, Jing-Mei and Debbie away from Ramalah, Dakarai needed to stay and look after the affairs in the camp.

With a few hours left of daylight, they must take off. Both Ray and Carter left messages for their respective wives because it was likely that the women won't be back in time. On that thought, there was an underlying fear that something had happened with Rashid's truck. It was well past the reasonable hour for them to return. However, the American doctors did not voice their concerns for fear of acknowledging those concerns.

They had given some medications to Alima and tried to distract her from the pain. It would not be a comfortable ride for her. Her baby was breached but was anxious to make an appearance into the world.

Carter had his arms around Alima, hoping that physical contact would give her some comfort from the jolts and hits from the truck. Ray sat on their right in the back of the truck, but his expression was guarded.

"You seem miles away," Carter noted. It was a moot point, just making some conversation.

"I am," came the soft reply.

"You would know if something has happened."

Ray gave a quiet grunt as a sign of acknowledgment before the truck descended into an air of silence.

-o-o-

Neela held onto sides of the car as Rashid drove the vehicle across the desert. Beside her, Jing-Mei grumbled as she accidentally knocked herself as the car was driven in the opposite in the haste to run form the Janjaweed. Neela found her heart bounding into her rib cage. Her mouth suddenly went dry. Sounds of gunfire echoed in her ears, until she wasn't sure whether they were for real or if they were part of her imagination. The truth was that the sounds were getting closer. Despite what skills that Rashid had with his vehicle, he could not magically run a car without gas. As the truck rumbled to a stop, the three occupants waited in baited breaths as guns were trained to their temples and they were motioned to get out.

-o-o-

Ray felt a jerk on his elbow as the very pregnant Alima took hold of his arm. She murmured almost feverishly while motioning her belly with her free hand. Carter who offered his back as a support enclosed that free hand with his hold and tried to offer some words of comfort. Ray could not make out what he said but he knew that the older doctor had been picking up phrases from Dr. Dakarai.

Through Alima, Ray saw the eyes of his wife - the raw umber colour with a tint of russet and mocha. He could only tighten his grip on the woman in front of him while waiting desperately to be reunited with his Neela.

As Carter tried to ease Alima through a painful contraction, he was suddenly struck by the memory of Deb when she was pregnant with Michael. Motherhood became her. Even though it was cliche, but there was a certain glow to her as she massaged her swollen abdomen and spoke to the unborn child that she was carrying. He had been honoured when she guided his hand upon her bulging bound to feel the baby kicking. Even though he wasn't the father, at that particular moment, he felt that it was a sense of what-it-might-have-been.

Since his marriage, he hadn't really discussed the topic of children with Deb. Certainly they had skirted around the subject, but this trip had strengthened their outlook both on their personal and professional lives. Still, he ached to be reunited with his wife again.

-o-o-

Jing-Mei eyed the barrel of the gun in front of her. It wasn't the first time that she had been at this end of a firearm. She had been a victim of a hostage taking situation. She was grabbed from behind, pulled aside with a gun to her temple. She had stared into the face of her frightened colleagues, as if seeing her life flashing in front of her. In the end, she had not come to any physical harm, but psychologically, she had pushed the event to the back of her mind. She refused to allow herself to think about the what-ifs because she had an expectation of her self. She was a strong woman; she was in control.

She followed the motion of the gun, afraid to make eye contact, until one of the men spoke up. She didn't need to know the Sudanese language to know what they were saying. She immediately followed her two other companions and got into the back of the Janjaweed truck.

Neela scooted more in her seat, making room for Jing-Mei beside her. Her mind went through a series of motions: starting with the fact that she forgot to kiss Ray before she left. Did she tell him that she loved him? Did he know that she stole one of his favourite shirts because she wanted to cuddle in a piece of garment with a distinct Ray Barnett smell?

An officer sat across from her and she felt the heated gaze that he bestowed on her petite frame. Even from the first couple months of rooming with Ray, she was aware of the fact that she was sometimes at the receiving end of her roomie's 'inquisitive' gaze. She never thought anything of it because they had an unique relationship - playful yet serious, professional but engaging. When they finally made it official as a couple, she began to understand his looks - the thoughtful ones that he bestowed when she became the inspiration behind the band's lyrics, the utter happiness when they were in each other's company. After the marriage, those looks just became fuller, enveloping her in its passion and excitement. She felt herself stiffening, as if trying to put more physical distance away from the gaze of a stranger, a man who wasn't her Ray.

End of Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Standard disclaimers applied. See Chapter 1 for further details

**Author's Note**: Ok, I apologize profusely for the lateness of this chapter. Major roadblock on this fic but my guilty conscience had worn be down to the point where I had to sit down and just finished it.

Life is purely insane right now and I needed some serious diversions, so anyways, Ash - because I know you are reading this, this chapter is for you ;)

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Chapter 5

She never gotten used to the cold. She was the type who liked to bury herself beneath the warm covers while the windows of her room were kept slightly opened to let in the night air. It helped her to sleep better. The situation was even better when she had someone warm - namely Ray who would spoon her as she placed her head upon his naked chest. This night, she was sorely lacking her husband's warmth.

The soldier motioned for her and Jing-Mei to get off the truck. The cold piece of metal pressed against the small of back, sent shivers down her spine, but she kept walking. She tried to distract her mind by staring at the neck of the Chinese doctor who was walking in front of her.

They were separated from Rashid who tried to negotiate with some of the men but to no avail. All he earned was a huge blow to his face, and a bloody nose. Then he was unceremoniously dragged off to a different part of the camp.

Jing-Mei found the younger woman's hand and gave it a quick squeeze but quickly put her hands behind her and kept on walking. Neela stumbled slightly in the sand, but her fall was broken by the Janjaweed officer who was behind them. For a moment, he held her in his grip, so tightly, she felt that she was losing circulation. Then, she reminded herself to breath and the pressure lessened. Still the soldier held on, and Neela was paralyzed by what she saw in his eyes.

It reminded her of the abyss, the images from a not-so-distant past. She remembered the swarming hands and shrouded faces, but mostly, she would never forget his eyes. He had marked her, his intentions oozing from every pore of his body. She tried to think of the other women before her who had been a similar situation. Did they feel the paralysis, the utter fear, the seeping coldness that was overwhelming her body? She tried desperately to remember the touch of her husband, his husky voice, his playful smirk.

The soldier dragged her towards one of the tents. She was only mobilized out of the sheer necessity. Through the flaps, she was thrown haphazardly liked some unwanted possession. The man towered over her, so close that she felt the heat of his body. She swallowed hard and then shivered from the mere sight of his lust and desire.

Then, a scream erupted through the air and she surrendered to the darkness.

-o-o-

She woke up to clean sheets and soft bed. The utter warmth was heavenly and she buried herself deeper into the covers, until she was brought back to reality of where she was. Her tired mocha eyes settled on the bed not to far from hers.

A sound came from the foot of her bed and she saw John Carter walking towards her, carrying a bundle in his arms. One of the nurses were in tow behind him. He said something softly to her as he lowered the precious burden in his arms. Alima didn't need a translator to know that the American was currently holding her newborn son.

Taking her child from him, she whispered a word of thanks. But there was a question at the tip of her tongue, but she was afraid to ask. Somehow, Carter sensed her discomfort and said, "Time is the best judge." Alima waited for the translation, until she nodded.

-o-o-

Three hours, a truck braked fiercely outside the hospital in El Fashir. It brought to the immediate attention and concern of Carter, Ray and Rafiki who managed to arrive at El Fashir with the very pregnant Alima.

Rashid was badly beaten up, so he was immediately admitted for an assessment. In three strides, Ray made it over to Neela who upon the sight of him, proceeded with retching up whatever she had that day, before taking fistful of his shirt and sobbed. Carter approached Deb, scanning for any sign of injuries. She was the one who had been driving.

"Deb? It's ok you can let go of the wheel now. Deb?"

The Chinese woman ended up fainting on the spot.

-o-o-

In the interim, Alima delivered a healthy baby boy. The said woman returned to the sleeping forms of Ray and Neela. Their sleep appeared to be untroubled, until Neela began murmuring in her sleep. Ray quickly became aware of her distress. Alima watched the way he gently shook Neela awake, who proceeded with a round of tears.

Ray was hopeless in alleviating Neela's anguish. After Jing-Mei awoke from her collapse, she began to apologize profusely. She took all the blame upon herself, as she retold how she had been the one who wanted to look for Nana - the women who had been raped and then ran away from the camp despite her injuries. In a hurried monotone voice, the Chinese woman recounted how their truck ran out of gas in their escape against Janjaweed officers. They were taken away to another camp, where the women were separated from Rashid. Neela was dragged away to a different camp. Here Jing-Mei's voice became softer and more hurried, "I screamed bloody hell and screamed as loud as I could to wake the entire camp. I told them we were 'dirty.' Screamed the words over and over again until..."

She swallowed and Carter enveloped her shaking hands in his own. "They don't want 'tainted' women for whatever they are planning to do. They certainly don't want a crazy woman on top of that. Then I drove ... worked that truck like it hasn't been worked before."

"And Neela," Ray managed to ask.

"Nothing had happened, but to say that Neela is badly shaken up is an understatement. I'm sorry - I know it means very little but I am."

In his heart, Ray knew that Jing-Mei was as much as a victim in his ordeal as anybody else, but he was angry. In his hopelessness, he lashed out, "If only! You two would have been safe back at the camp."

"That's enough, Barnett!" That was Carter in his face. "You better stop before you cause more damage and then, I won't be responsible for my actions."

-o-o-

It was a heat moment that had nothing to do with the humidity of the African weather. It was part of human nature and the grim reality of the current state of affairs.

Neela found Jing-Mei at the edge of El Fashir. The younger woman suffered no physical hurts, only a few bruises here and there which would fade with time. She had nightmares of what did and didn't happen at the Jinjaweed camp.

"I'm surprise that Ray will let you out of his sight," Jing-Mei's words stopped Neela in her tracks.

"I have something that needs to be said without his interference."

"You know -"

"You save my life at that camp. I never blamed you. Nobody told me to go with you. I chose to follow Nana that day."

"But I -"

"How did you know what to say that day?" Neela asked instead.

"One of the few words that I picked up. It was pretty obvious after awhile."

"Ray would apologize, you know."

"So, does John."

As Neela was walking away, Jing-Mei stopped her once more, "Do you regret coming here?"

The younger doctor looked around the barren terrain. The sands held no promise, no future, only the blatant truth that this was reality for the people of Africa. She had but made a small indent in the grand scheme of things, but she had rose above torrid lands to emerge a stronger women.

She turned and said, "Never."

_ The End_


End file.
